how to cheer someone up
Relationships | Happiness

How to Cheer Someone Up in 10 Simple Steps

We’ve all been there – watching a loved one struggle with sadness or stress. Whether it’s a family member grappling with a setback, a friend navigating a rough patch, or a colleague facing workplace blues, knowing how to cheer someone up can be a game-changer. 

But where do you start? How do you lift someone’s spirits without overstepping or making things awkward?

Keep reading! This article is your roadmap to becoming a beacon of positivity in someone’s cloudy day. It provides ten simple yet powerful ways to cheer someone up. 

First, let’s understand when and how to approach someone who’s feeling down.

When Should You Step in to Help Someone Who’s Feeling Down?

man comforting another that's sitting down

Timing is everything when it comes to cheering someone up. Rush in too soon, and you might overwhelm them. Wait too long, and they might feel neglected. 

So, how do you strike that perfect balance?

  1. Start with Baby Steps: When you notice someone’s mood shift, don’t immediately launch into cheer-up mode. Instead, take a gentle, observant approach. A simple “How are you doing lately?” can open the door without applying pressure.
  2. Read the Room: Pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues. Has their usual chatty demeanor gone quiet? Are they withdrawing from social activities they once enjoyed? These subtle changes can be your cue to offer support.
  3. Check Their Receptiveness: Gauge if they’re open to support. Some people prefer to process their emotions privately before accepting help. A casual “I’m here if you wanna talk or need anything” lets them know you care without pushing.
  4. Watch for Red Flags: If you notice they’re struggling with basic tasks, experiencing significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns, or showing signs of severe distress, it’s time to step in more actively. These could be signs of a deeper issue requiring professional help.
  5. Be Consistently Present: Don’t wait for a crisis to show you care. Regular check-ins and keeping in touch during good times build trust, making it easier for them to lean on you during tough times.
  6. Trust Your Instincts: Sometimes, you just know when a friend needs a pick-me-up. If your gut tells you they could use some cheering, chances are you’re right. Even if they’re not ready to open up, your gesture of care won’t go unnoticed.

Remember, the goal isn’t to fix their problems or force happiness. It’s about showing them they’re not alone and that you’re there to support them through the ups and downs.

What to Keep In Mind When Trying to Cheer Someone Up

Cheering someone up is an art that requires empathy, patience, and a keen understanding of the person you’re trying to help. Keep these points in mind when you try to cheer someone up:

They Might Need Space

When someone is feeling down, you might feel tempted to step in and try to fix things. Even if you’re the first person they call, your unsolicited advice often isn’t what they need.

People who are feeling low don’t need you to micromanage their life. Sometimes, they need space. The person’s feelings might not make sense to them, and they’re likely to be feeling overwhelmed. You might want to push them to talk about their situation, but that’s not necessarily what they need. 

So, create a casual environment where they know they have the option to talk if they choose. Let them know you’re there if they want to talk. Allow them to process how they’re feeling.

If they want to talk things through, trust that they will. It’s important to let the person set the pace for difficult conversations. The person should know you’re there for them if they want support. They only need to speak when they’re ready.

Let Them Know It’s Okay to Be Sad

We all feel sad sometimes. There are lots of reasons to be sad. Sadness is a normal and healthy part of the emotional spectrum.

woman comforting another with her hand on her shoulder

When supporting a friend who’s feeling down, create a safe space for them to experience their emotions without judgment. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad and that you’re there for them.

Your role isn’t to “fix” their sadness or immediately cheer them up. Their sadness isn’t a puzzle to be solved – they need to process and work through it. 

Focus on being a compassionate presence. Listen actively without trying to solve their problems unless they specifically ask for advice. Validate their emotions with statements like, “It’s understandable you feel this way” and “I’m here for you, no matter what.” 

For your friend, simply having someone who acknowledges their feelings without trying to change them can be incredibly comforting. By creating an environment where their negative emotions are accepted, you can help your friend navigate their sadness in a healthy, supported way.

Give Them the Help They Want

People give and receive love differently, and recognizing these differences can significantly enhance your ability to provide meaningful support. Try to figure out what their “love language” is.

The five love languages are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift-giving, and words of affirmation. To identify someone’s love language, observe how they express care for others, listen to their complaints about feeling unloved, or ask them directly about their preferences.

Once you’ve identified their love language, tailor your approach accordingly:

  • For quality time, offer your undivided attention.
  • If it’s physical touch, a hug or a comforting hand on their shoulder can mean a lot.
  • For acts of service, help them with tasks or chores.
  • If gift-giving is their language, a thoughtful (not necessarily expensive) “thinking of you” gift can lift their spirits.
  • For words of affirmation, express your care and support verbally or in writing.

Remember, what works for you might not work for them. By speaking their love language, you’re more likely to provide meaningful support and effectively cheer them up.

Give Them the Help They Need

There’s a lot that you can do to cheer someone up. However, there are times when more serious intervention is necessary, such as if they’ve been feeling extremely low for a few weeks already or if their sadness is significantly impacting their daily life.

There’s a difference between cheering up a sad person and helping someone with depression.

If your friend is consistently struggling, gently suggest they seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide the tools and support they need to work through deeper issues in a safe and confidential environment.

woman talking with a mental health professional

Even if your friend seeks professional help, your support remains crucial. Let them know you’re there for them, regardless of their ups and downs. Your consistent presence and unconditional support can provide comfort and hope during their difficult times.

Lastly, remember to take care of yourself. Supporting someone through tough times can be draining. Ensure you’re also looking after your own mental health and seeking support if you need it. By prioritizing your own well-being, you ensure that your emotional tank stays full, allowing you to be a steady source of support for those who need you.

How to Cheer Someone Up: 10 Effective Strategies

Cheering someone up isn’t a one-size-fits-all endeavor. Just as every cloud has a different silver lining, every person has unique ways of finding joy and comfort.

Some might find solace in understanding the science behind happiness, exploring how to hack their own neurochemistry for a mood boost. Others might need the comfort of a warm, home-cooked meal and good company. The key is to tailor your approach to the individual, using your newfound insights and personal judgment to choose the most fitting method.

Below, you’ll find ten strategies we’ve found to be particularly effective in lifting someone’s spirits. Consider these your mood-boosting toolkit – ready to be used whenever a friend needs a pick-me-up. Feel free to mix and match these ideas or use them as inspiration for your own creative ways to boost their mood.

1. Show Physical Affection

Physical touch is a powerful way to show someone that you care. It releases oxytocin, the hormone responsible for feeling connected and loved.

Give your friend a big hug. A hug can release many positive emotions and help them feel better. It’s a simple way to remind them that they are not alone and that you support them. 

woman hugging another woman

A hug is also great if your friend doesn’t want to talk. It can show them that you are there for them without having to say anything at all.

2. Help Them Laugh

A good laugh can be a great distraction from the source of sadness. It has been scientifically proven that when we laugh, our brains release endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals, which help us relax and feel better.

If you want to cheer someone up, try making them laugh by telling a funny story or sharing a funny video. You can also play around with them to lighten their mood.

Asking funny questions is another simple way to get someone laughing. Come up with silly or outrageous questions that catch them off guard and get them cracking up.

Playing funny games like charades can be another way to get people giggling while distracting them from their sadness. 

Sharing all the silly videos and funny inspirational quotes you come across can give the person something new and entertaining to focus on instead of their troubles. They’ll feel much better when the mood-boosting effects kick in.

3. Leave a Handwritten Note

A heartfelt handwritten note can be an especially powerful mood-lifter in our digital age. When someone’s feeling down, discovering a thoughtful message can brighten their day and remind them they’re not alone.

woman writing a message

Try hiding little notes in unexpected spots next time you’re at your friend’s place. 

Write down positive thoughts, words of encouragement, or simple reminders that you care. These notes could be personalized affirmations tailored to their situation, reminders of their strengths or past accomplishments, or reassurances that things will get better. Don’t hesitate to include inside jokes, silly drawings to spark a smile, or quotes that resonate with their interests or values.

The beauty of these notes is their lasting impact. Your friend can rediscover them days or weeks later, getting a boost right when they need it most. Even a simple “Thinking of you!” can make a world of difference when someone’s feeling low.

4. Offer Sincere Compliments

Take a moment to think about what you truly admire or appreciate about your friend. It could be a personality trait, a recent accomplishment, or even something as simple as their taste in music or fashion.

When offering a compliment, be specific and sincere. Instead of a generic “You’re great,” try something like, “I really admire how you always make time to help others, even when you’re busy.” Or, “Your creativity in solving that problem at work was impressive.”

Remember, the goal isn’t to flatter, but to genuinely express your appreciation. Your friend will likely sense your sincerity, which can help boost their self-esteem and mood. Plus, focusing on positive aspects can help shift their perspective, even if just for a moment.

5. Step Outside for Fresh Air

When someone is sad, they often don’t want to leave the house. Don’t push too hard, but encourage them to get outside for a short while.

Getting some fresh air can do wonders for their mental health. Being outside in nature is very soothing and can have a therapeutic effect.

Consider taking your friend to the beach, for a walk in a forest, or on a hike. The combination of calming scenery and exercise is sure to cheer them up. 

two women walking along a path outside

While walking with them, you can ask them how they’re doing. Nature makes an excellent backdrop for talking about emotions if they feel like opening up.

6. Help With the Basics

When someone’s feeling down, even the simplest tasks can feel overwhelming. Everyday activities like cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping might seem impossible. That’s where you can step in and make a real difference.

Consider going grocery shopping together. Your company can make the chore feel more manageable and even enjoyable. If they’re not up for leaving the house, offer to pick up essentials for them.

Cooking can be another hurdle when someone’s feeling low. Whip up their favorite dish or prepare a few easy-to-heat meals. If you’re not a chef, no worries! Ordering a meal for them through Uber Eats or DoorDash is just as thoughtful.

warm Indian food meal

A messy space often goes hand in hand with a low mood. Offer to tackle some household chores—do the dishes, put in a load of laundry, or tidy the living room. A clean, organized space can work wonders for one’s state of mind.

Remember, it’s crucial to ask how they want to be supported. If they’re uncomfortable with you cleaning their house, respect their wishes and find another way to help. The goal is to lighten their load, not add to their stress.

By helping with these basics, you’re doing more than just tidying up or filling the fridge. You’re showing your friend that they don’t have to face everything alone, and that can be incredibly comforting when they’re feeling down.

7. Do Whatever Makes Them Happy

Perhaps the best way to cheer someone up is to do whatever makes them feel better. Ask your friend what they want to do or take the initiative to do the things you know will lift their spirits.

Spend quality time together listening to your friend’s favorite music, playing video games, or doing activities they enjoy. Doing fun activities together can be a great mood booster and distract them from their troubles.

Consider organizing a movie night with their favorite films and some comfort food. This might be just what they need to relax and take their mind off things.

Focusing on activities they love can remind them of the joy and fun life offers, even during tough times.

8. Encourage Self-Care

When we’re feeling down, it’s all too easy to neglect ourselves. Yet, ironically, this is precisely when we need self-care the most. As a supportive friend, you can play a crucial role in encouraging and facilitating self-care practices that can improve their overall well-being.

Suggest activities that connect them with nature, like forest bathing – spending mindful time outdoors – or starting a small indoor garden. Caring for plants can be therapeutic, and air-purifying varieties can improve their living space. 

Introduce them to mood-boosting foods and offer to cook together. Trying a new, healthy recipe can be both fun and nourishing.

Help them create a cozy reading nook in their home. A comfortable space dedicated to relaxation can provide a much-needed retreat when they’re feeling low.

woman peacefully reading a book

You might even help them develop a self-care routine incorporating these and other rejuvenating activities. Having a structured approach to self-care can make it easier to maintain.

Remind them that taking care of their physical and mental health is crucial, especially when they’re feeling down. If they want company, offer to join them in these self-care activities.

9. Establish a Community of Care

Strong friendships are like emotional shock absorbers, helping us bounce back from life’s bumps and bruises. They make us more resilient, providing comfort during tough times and amplifying joy during good ones. 

When someone’s feeling down, tapping into or building a support network can be incredibly powerful. Here are some ideas to establish and nurture a community of care:

  1. Organize a Support Circle: Gather a group of friends, family members, or colleagues who care about the person. Create a schedule where different people check in regularly, ensuring the person feels consistently supported without overwhelming any single individual.
  2. Plan Group Activities: Organize regular group activities that the person enjoys. This could be weekly game nights, monthly book club meetings, or outdoor excursions. The key is to provide consistent, enjoyable social interactions that give the person something to look forward to.
  3. Create a Virtual Support Network: If in-person meetings are challenging, set up a private online group or forum where friends can share encouragement, funny memes, or helpful resources. This can provide round-the-clock support and remind the person they’re not alone.
  4. Implement a “Meal Train”: Coordinate with friends to provide home-cooked meals on a rotating basis. This ensures the person is eating well and shows tangible care from multiple people.
  5. Organize a “Joy Jar” Project: Get a group together to fill a jar with notes of encouragement, happy memories, and reasons why they appreciate the person. They can draw from this jar whenever they need a mood boost.
  6. Start a Shared Gratitude Journal: Use a shared online document or a physical journal that’s passed around. Each day, someone in the group writes one thing they’re grateful for. This cultivates a positive mindset within the entire community.
  7. Use Happiness Apps as a Group: Download happiness or mood-tracking apps as a group. Many of these apps have social features that allow you to share achievements or cheer each other on. This can turn personal development into a supportive community activity.
  8. Create an Accountability Calendar: Create a shared accountability calendar where everyone logs their mood-boosting activities or self-care practices. Celebrate each other’s consistency and progress. This will help your friend and encourage everyone in the group to prioritize their mental health.

Remember, when someone is feeling down, it can sometimes feel all-consuming. They might struggle to see beyond their current state. By establishing a robust and active community of care, you’re not just providing momentary distraction but creating a sustained support system that can help shift their perspective over time.

three overlapping hands

Encourage everyone in the community to celebrate small wins and joyful moments. This collective focus on positivity can be contagious, helping your friend, colleague, or family member develop a more optimistic outlook. It also reminds them they’re valued and have a network of people rooting for their happiness.

10. Volunteer Together

When you’re in a bad mood, it is easy to get lost in your thoughts and forget about the rest of the world. 

Volunteering together is a slightly unconventional but effective way to cheer someone up. Consider volunteering at a beach clean-up or soup kitchen. 

Volunteering does more than get your friend out of the house. Doing good for other people naturally improves one’s mood. It helps to remind them that they’re positively impacting the world around them. Performing acts of kindness can make them feel a lot better about their situation, whatever the case may be. 

Spreading kindness by volunteering helps everyone involved. By engaging in acts of service together, you empower your friend to discover their own capacity to make a positive impact, reminding them that even in their darkest moments, they can brighten someone else’s day—and, in turn, their own.

Final Thoughts

Knowing how to cheer someone up is not just a kind gesture—it’s a great life skill that enriches your relationships and your own emotional intelligence. The true art lies in balancing empathy with action, being present without being overbearing. 

Remember, your genuine care and effort are what truly make a difference. Your friend, family member, or colleague will appreciate all the effort you put into making their tough time a little better! 

Hopefully, this article has given you some great ideas! It can be tough to see someone you care about going through a hard time, but with your support, they will get through it. 

If it helps, share our blog with your friend. It is filled with happiness tips and resources to help them find a little dose of happy during challenging times.

Thanks for being a caring friend! 🙂


Here are some other articles you might be interested in:

Sharing is caring!