Witty Wisdom: 101 Funny Inspirational Quotes to Share
You’re scrolling through your social media feed, and you come across a post from a friend who’s having a rough day. Their status update reads, “There’s nothing in the world worse than having your phone die right when you need it most. Today has been a complete disaster!” They’re feeling down, and their post is a clear cry for help. What do you do?
You could do nothing (don’t do that!), leave a generic “Hang in there!” comment (much better than nothing), or you could be the hero they need by sending them a witty, uplifting quote that’s guaranteed to make them smile (yes!).
Here’s the thing – you don’t need a reason to send a funny text to a friend. They don’t need to be in a very bad mood or having a terrible day for the message to be effective.
Funny motivational quotes are like little bursts of positivity that can brighten up anyone’s day, no matter what they’re going through. They’re the perfect way to show your friends that you’re thinking of them and care about their happiness.
You might be thinking, “But I’m not that witty. I can’t come up with clever quotes on the spot!” Well, guess what? That’s where this ultimate list of funny inspirational quotes comes in. We’ve scoured the internet and compiled the best of the best, so you don’t have to!
We even double-checked the accuracy of the quotes and their attribution because the last thing you want is to send a misattributed quote to your friend. That’s why we spent hours poring over articles from the brilliant minds at Quote Investigator (thanks, guys!), ensuring that every quote on this list is authentic and properly credited.
As you read through these quotes, imagine your friends’ faces lighting up with laughter and joy. That’s the kind of impact you can have by being the friend who brings humor and positivity. Your friends will most likely appreciate your efforts more than honest criticism or tough love.
Remember, friendships are all about being there for each other through the good times and the bad. And sometimes, the best way to show you care is by catching your friends off guard with a dose of unexpected humor.
There’s no such thing as too much laughter in this world. And you make your own life better by making a positive difference in the lives of those around you.
So, what are you waiting for? Read over this list, find the quotes that speak to you, and start sharing them with your friends today. Your funny bone and your friendships will thank you for it!
101 Funny Inspirational Quotes: Wit and Wisdom Rolled Into One
1. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas A. Edison
2. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
3. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” — Betty Reese
4. “Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” — Tom Lehrer
5. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” — Margaret Mead
6. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz
7. “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” — Carl Sandburg
8. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill
9. “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt
10. “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
11. “Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” — Don Marquis
12. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” — Mark Twain
13. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” — Douglas Adams
14. “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” — Steven Wright
15. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
16. “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.” — Denis Waitley
17. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres
18. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
19. “My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with.” — Oprah Winfrey
20. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” — Unknown
21. “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” — Allen Saunders
22. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
23. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin
24. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” — Dave Barry
25. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” — Truman Capote
26. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
27. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” — Yogi Berra
28. “My mother always used to say: ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.'” — Betty White
29. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” — Jack Handey
30. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
31. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” — Mitch Hedberg
32. “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” — Mark Twain
33. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vince Lombardi
34. “The best revenge is massive success.” — Frank Sinatra
35. “If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.” — George Bernard Shaw
36. “Creativity is intelligence having fun.” — Unknown
37. “The reason most people do not recognize an opportunity when they meet it is because it usually goes around wearing overalls and looking like Hard Work.” — Unknown
38. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West
39. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” — Dale Carnegie
40. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” — Abraham Lincoln
41. “So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.” — Oprah Winfrey
42. “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” — Abraham Lincoln
43. “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” — Albert Einstein
44. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” — George Carlin
45. “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” — David Brinkley
46. “A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” — Grace Hopper
47. “By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.” — Richard Dawkins
48. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” — George Harrison
49. “Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.” — Robert C. Gallagher
50. “I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” — Benjamin Franklin
51. “Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.” — Ruth E. Renkel
52. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” — Robert Benchley
53. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” — Ellen Parr
54. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
55. “You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.” — Unknown
56. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
57. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” — Groucho Marx
58. “I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” — Charles Schulz
59. “I’d rather live with a good question than a bad answer.” — Aryeh Frimer
60. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” — Confucius
61. “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.” — Daniel J. Boorstin
62. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” — William James
63. “Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” — George Bernard Shaw
64. “It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.” — Stephenie Meyer
65. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” — Robert Brault
66. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire
67. “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” — Confucius
68. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Unknown
69. “As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.” — John Glenn
70. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” — Unknown
71. “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” — Jerry Seinfeld
72. “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.” — Groucho Marx
73. “All generalizations are false, including this one.” — Unknown
74. “The important thing to you is not how many years in your life, but how much life in your years!” — Edward J. Stieglitz
75. “I was addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.” — Unknown
76. “Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.” — Unknown
77. “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” — Mae West
78. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” — Steven Wright
79. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” — Zach Galifianakis
80. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Unknown
81. “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” — Abraham Lincoln
82. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” — Robert Bloch
83. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers
84. “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” — Albert Einstein
85. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” — Mae West
86. “It’s not bragging if you can back it up.” — Muhammad Ali
87. “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” — Jules Renard
88. “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” — Ayn Rand
89. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
90. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde
91. “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” — Jim Rohn
92. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright
93. “The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.” — Malcolm Forbes
94. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” — Mark Twain
95. “Life is a blank canvas, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” — Danny Kaye
96. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
97. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” — Dr. Seuss
98. “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” — Sam Levenson
99. “If you fall, I will be there.” — Floor
100. “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” — George S. Patton
101. “You can have it all. Just not all at once.” — Oprah Winfrey
Final Thoughts
Whether your friend is going through a tough time or just needs a little pick-me-up, a well-timed, humorous quote can be the perfect remedy.
A funny message from you could be exactly what they need to turn a bad day into a much-needed laugh-out-loud session that gives them the boost they need to keep going.
After all, life is too short to take everything seriously – sometimes, all you need is a good friend and a great joke to make everything feel right again.
Be the reason someone smiles today! 😄
Feeling amused and inspired? Keep the good vibes going by exploring the a little dose of happy blog, where you’ll find more uplifting content to brighten your day!
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