how and how not to be happy

Let’s Talk About How And How Not To Be Happy (A Guide)

Have you wondered about how and how not to be happy?


Where does your happiness lie? Don’t be surprised if you struggle to answer that question.


It’s sometimes easier to know what doesn’t make you happy than to know what does. Sometimes, the lines can become blurred. So for more clarity on this all-important issue, let’s talk about how and how not to be happy.


In our guide below, we take you through the top ways to introduce happiness into your life. We also examine the chief ways in which you may be inadvertently inviting unhappiness instead.


How And How Not To Be Happy In Life


When discovering the various ways how and how not to be happy, remember that we are all different. We are all unique. You need to put in effort when learning how to find what makes you happy!


What makes you happy may differ vastly from what makes someone else happy. Even your life partner may have very different ideas about happiness than you do.


However, there are some general guidelines that you can follow to help with your journey of discovery.


All human beings want to feel happy, loved, and at peace. It has nothing to do with new age or wishful thinking. These yearnings are universal desires, regardless of circumstances, gender, age, or cultural affiliation.


There are many ways to introduce more happiness into your life, and many of them will be unique to you. However, some apply to everyone. So let’s take a look at the top 5 ways to start living a happy life.


Man doing yoga


How To Be Happy


1. A Healthy Body


For most of us, happiness means doing the things we enjoy. This is only possible because of our bodies, and their ability to engage in various physical pursuits.


Our bodies enable us to go to work, walk on the beach, take our dogs for walks, and partake in sports. We would not be able to function in the world without them.


But our bodies exist for more than just interacting with the world around us. They are also vessels for our minds and spirits.


So treat your body with the love and respect that it deserves!


Eat nourishing food that builds you up and boosts your immunity to disease. Get regular exercise, and improve your fitness levels so that you may lead a more active life. Take care of your body, as it takes care of you.


2. A Calm Mind


Do you ever feel so bombarded by all the noise in the world that you feel like fleeing to the hills? It’s difficult to figure out how and how not to be happy amid all the craziness.


Meditation has helped millions of people across the world reach a place of peace and calm in their busy lives.


Happiness studies have proven that meditation is a simple yet effective method for improving our well-being. It is internationally recognized as a tool for self-enlightenment and peace.


Woman doing yoga


You need to go within, to find where your happiness lies. Meditation, and other mindfulness activities, are gentle yet effective ways of attaining happiness through self-reflection.


The goal of meditation is not to clear your mind of all thoughts, but rather to focus your attention on the present moment and become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.


When you meditate, you let go of unhelpful thoughts and emotions that are making you unhappy. You become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and you learn how to deal with them in a more positive way.


3. Kindness And Compassion


Seek happiness through showing kindness and compassion towards others.


Kindness and compassion go a long way in strengthening relationships with those around you. If you want to know more about how to keep people in your life feeling special, you might be interested in these articles:



To reach the very summit of a good life and experience happiness, you need to live a good life. And kindness and compassion are essential for living a good life.


It is only when you give thought to other people’s happiness that you reach your full potential. A virtuous soul that cares for others can cause life-changing results.


Kindness is contagious! Before you know it, kindness will abound and the explosion of happiness around the world will touch many lives. Kindness has to start somewhere, so let it start with you.




4. Gratitude


Cultivating gratitude is recognized as one of the best ways to attain happiness and lasting fulfillment. Just as showing kindness can cause a happiness revolution, so can gratitude.


A grateful soul is a happy soul. When you are thankful for all that you have, you attract more abundance to yourself. Gratitude is like a magnet that pulls more to be thankful for into your life. The more thankful you are, the happier you will be.


Can you be happy without gratitude? Sure, but you will be settling for incomplete happiness without it. Gratitude fills up your happiness cup so it overflows. Gratitude is the sunshine that makes your soul grow.


Gratitude makes you happier because it pulls you out of the past and into the present. The more you focus on what you have to be grateful for, the less time you spend dwelling on past hurts or worrying about future problems.


Gratitude allows you to be fully present in each moment, and savor all that life has to offer.


So, consider joining in on Thankful Thursday and practice gratitude weekly or even daily! Write down things you are grateful for in a gratitude list, say “thank you” more often, or start a gratitude journal. Be grateful, and let happiness abound!


Writing in journal


5. A Spiritual Connection


If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I be happy?”, you might be missing a spiritual connection.


When we talk about a spiritual connection, we are not referring to any particular religion or denomination. There is a big difference between religion and spirituality, and religious affiliation is not necessary for a spiritually fulfilled life.


The first happiness theorist of note was Thomas Aquinas, an Italian Dominican priest who lived in the 13th century. He believed that true happiness can only be found in knowing a higher power. In Thomas Aquinas’ Treatise, nothing else could help us in uncovering lasting fulfillment.


How you honor a spiritual connection is up to you. The life force within all of us is not bothered by labels. Whereas religions are man-made institutions, spirituality is the recognition of the innate desire for knowledge and truth.


According to Aquinas, that is where your ultimate happiness lies.


We do not need material things to be happy when we have spiritual wealth. A spiritually fulfilling life is the way to discovering your ultimate purpose in life, and attaining ultimate happiness too.


If you have not yet read Aquinas’ Treatise, think of giving it a go. It might help you understand how to bring a spiritual connection into your life.


How Not To Be Happy


If these resonate with you, you might want to read up on this list of 10 scientific ways to be happy.


1. Speeding Through Life


Technological advancements in the last few years have made life easier. However, less than a quarter of American adults rate themselves as happy.


Life satisfaction is clearly at a record low, but why is this the case?


We are constantly seeking pleasure through fast food, entertainment on demand, and immediate gratification.


Man working too hard


It seems as though the whole world is now facing a happiness crisis!


When was the last time that you prepared a healthy meal for your family or baked a cake from scratch for a loved one’s birthday?


When did you last spend time playing with your kids instead of sitting them down in front of a tablet or TV?


Want to know a great secret about how and how not to be happy? No one ever regretted spending their lives doing things that made them happy. If you don’t take the time to enjoy life, you risk racing to the finish line and being left with regret!


2. Living For Others


Do you want to know how to stop depending on others for happiness?


When you live to make others happy and earn their approval, you will never be happy. We are not suggesting that you dismiss other people’s advice or opinions out of hand. But when you ignore your own hopes and dreams, you cannot be happy.


Pleasing everyone is impossible, and it’s a waste of time to try. You will only end up feeling resentful and unhappy. Life is too short to live for anyone else!


Acknowledge your desires for your life. Be true to yourself, and you will earn the respect and admiration of others. Most importantly, you’ll earn self-respect, and that is priceless.


3. Unrealistic Expectations


If you want to learn how and how not to be happy, keeping things realistic is a must.


Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself can be harmful. You don’t have to be an expert in everything. Being a workaholic will deprive you of the time you need to spend with loved ones.


You are working to earn the finances needed to take care of and enjoy time with your family! Set manageable goals and allow a healthy work-life balance.


Drinking coffee


Give yourself the time you need to reach your goals, and celebrate the small wins along the way.


Stop comparing yourself to others with their ‘perfect lives.’ With these false views of happiness, you will never attain perfect fulfillment. You’ll only end up perfectly unhappy!


4. Isolation From Nature


Are you so caught up in life online that you’ve lost sight of what real life is all about? For a break from our online-simulated lives, we need to get back to our real lives. Young people, especially, find this hard to do, having grown up this way. But it affects everyone.


Forget the Metaverse for a while, and instead enjoy the better verse! Stop wasting hours each day obsessing over the political and social order, or the latest gossip.


If you want to know how to be happy again, consider stepping outdoors.


Unplug from online life, and get back to your own public life.


Get outdoors and enjoy nature! The trees, the sky, the fresh air, the water – these are all waiting for you. They have a calming and therapeutic effect, and they will make you happy.


Final Thoughts


We’re all unique, even when it comes to learning how and how not to be happy.


Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of modern living. Take time, be mindful, and remember to practice gratitude. Connecting with people is important, and connecting with yourself is essential!


We hope you’ve picked up some good wisdom from this article. If you’re interested in more, similar content – check out a little dose of happy.


The blog section is filled with interesting content, and the Do Happy App can help you invite happiness into your life – the right way.



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